Russia: Go Back to Being Communist Already

Russia, I think the time has finally come. It's not like you don't want to. We all have seen the polls- a majority of Russians just want to go back to the time when Brehznev was the leader of Russia and everyone basically chilled all day. There was a cradle to grave welfare state, nobody really had to go to work. Pretty much, everybody sat around and hung out and collected paychecks from the state. Yeah, you couldn't really criticize the government or they'd send you and your entire family to Siberia. But who even wanted to criticize the government? Everyone was just chilling all the time! Hell, even Brezhnev fell asleep during his own speeches. Everything was far from well, but at least everything wasn't on fire.

You wanna know how things are now?

Yep. Everything is on fire. Temperatures in Southern Russia reached 104 this weekend. I don't understand why this is such a big deal because this is the five-day forecast in my native Dallas, Texas:


But apparently in Russia this freak weather along with the toxic combination of trees, forests and grass ends in everything being on fire. Emergency officials, though, also would like to point out to Russians that it is also mostly their fault for these devastating fires that make Russia a literal hell on Earth:

"Emergency officials say the heat and drought are the main causes of the fires, but they also blame human carelessness, and urged people to use extreme caution when walking or driving in the woods or countryside." - BBC

If you don't believe me when I say that everything is on fire then you should probably watch this video of two Russian men driving through the countryside to have a leisurely picnic:



Yeah, that's some shit right there. You'll notice the complete LACK of emergency aid. Like policemen who might be telling motorists to maybe not drive into the fiery inferno or any sort of paramedics who might be making sure people aren't dying or something? Where are those people? Is that too much to ask for when your country is on fire?

Anyway, this has nothing to do with the title of this blog which is an urge to the Russian government to just go back to being communist already.

In the past few weeks I have been reading articles about the corruption in the police force. A whistleblower policemen posted a video on youtube (I don't understand this influx of Russian YouTube videos. I guess Russia just found out what YouTube is.) about how basically every policeman accepted bribes and if you didn't you couldn't support yourself. On top of that, at the end of the day you even had to kick some of your bribe money over to a higher official. Okay. When your police force is running like the Soprano family it may be time to make some changes. After this upstanding citizen posted this video he was promptly fired and then incarcerated for six weeks.

My point is, Russia, if you're going to act like you're Communist, you may as well be Communist. Ever since 1990 when Communism collapsed the country has been in constant economic crises. Either you try to privitze way too quickly (You can't just go "I guess we'll be capitalist today" and be Capitalist. Although this isn't really Russia's fault, they listened to a bunch of stupid American economists who said this was the best idea and then when it turned out to be a disaster just kind of peaced out back to cozy Washington.) and basically everyone loses their jobs except for like six really, really rich dudes. Or you stop updating every single one of your factories because there isn't enough money. Or you elected a drunken lunatic as your president, who when threatened with absolutely anything just surrounds the Kremlin with tanks.

I keep saying "you, you, you" but I'm not blaming the Russian people for this. This is just how things happen, the luck of the draw, if you will. Russia has just had some bad luck, and also a bunch of idiots who perpetuate that bad luck with their stupid ideas.

So, perhaps Russia should go back to being Communist already. Yes, everyone Stalin is evil. Some leaders are just evil and it sucks. Nobody wants another Stalin in Russia. Or maybe there needs to be less alcoholism and corruption. I don't know- I'm no political strategist. But maybe something else, somebody else, that might be able to save this on-fire ramshackle corrupt country, is available, and it certainly isn't Putin.

I mean, if Russia was Communist again... Well, if they were Communist again I probably wouldn't be reading this post because nobody would have any idea this is even going on.

If you don't care about any of this, which you very well may not because none of the people reading this blog actually live in Russia, check out Mededev's twitter where he sometimes talks about the fire fighting effort but mostly just talks about how "Streetball is a fast-moving and exciting game." Russian Kremlin Twitter