I didn't want to post this because I, for the most part, am against sexual harassment in the workplace. If a dude I worked for sent me pictures of his penis I'd probably want to pin a lawsuit on him too. That being said, I wouldn't wait four plus years to cash in. Also- I probably wouldn't attempt to sue if said client was a professional athlete and I was a massage therapist. Finally, I also probably wouldn't if that same professional athlete has been sued for the same crime just a few months ago and has been under constant criticism and scrutiny for said crime for the past six months. When I first found out about Brett Favre's dick pix I was enthralled. Brett Favre is obnoxious and this is funny and his dick is small and that is delightful. But now. Now. I am fucking sick and tired of people suing Brett Favre. I'm sick and tired of reading about Brett Favre. I'm sick and tired of thinking about Brett Fave. I am just sick and tired. And I know I am not the only one. So now it is up to me to make a plea to the masses- LEAVE BRETT FAVRE ALONE.
I want to start off by saying this: So a professional athlete sent you a picture of his dong? As if that hasn't happened before? Isn't it more funny than anything else? It's pretty funny! That'd be the highlight of at least my week. Talk about a story for cocktail parties! But say you don't have a sense of humor. Say that's the truth. Well, honestly, if you decide that you want to be a massage therapist for professional athletes you should be aware that they're most-likely going to try to bang you. Because if there is anything anybody knows about professional athletes they are insanely narcissistic overpaid bros with too much testosterone and an overwhelming sense of an entitlement. That's just a given. So, if you decide massage therapy for the NFL is the life for you, then you should be aware of the hazards of working with such a breed of douchebag. It's unfair, yes, but that's just how the world is.
Secondly, I hate this trend of suing anybody and everybody who pisses you off. I love America but I hate this part of America. A law suit is supposed to be if a person incurred damages toward you as a direct result of said person's actions and the situation demands equitable remedy for said damages. Or something. Basically, a lawsuit is about bringing justice to a crime someone has comitted toward you. Ideally, it's not really about money it's about upholding the law and bringing justice to the guilty. Yes, you should be recompensated for damages but in theory it's about upholding the law.
Unfortunately, all anybody cares about is money. I'm sure that's what this massage therapist wants. I, on the other hand, am of the position that Brett Favre has paid the price for all of his wanton sexual deviancy. If there is any person I would not like to be right now- it is Brett Favre. I would not be Brett Favre for all the money in the world. The man has been humiliated before the entire world! His pathetic voicemails and pictures of his tiny wrinkled penis can be viewed at any time by anyone. Whenever I type in "brett favres dick" into Google, the first 100 results link me to pictures of his dick. Isn't that punishment enough? What if that happened to you? What if when you walked down the street every single person knew of your worst indescresions? That'd be horrible! I mean, the guy has had an incredible twenty-year career but what are we talking about at the close of such an impressive NFL career? How much of an pervy asshole he is. And sometimes about his methhead sister. If you wanted justice for Brett Favre taking advantage of you then let me be the first one to tell you- justice has been served. Let's say life was the 2004 film Mean Girls and Brett Favre was Regina George, then these women would be the poor little Lindsay Lohan character. Well, guess what- Brett Favre just got hit by the metaphorical bus of the internet, and you're popular again!
What I'm trying to say, victims of Brett Favre's penis is this- Celebrate! Go out and treat yourself to some expensive shoes and go out for a night on the town with your girlfriends! Celebrate girl power because girl power won out here. Brett Favre is a sad, imasculated fool reduced to crying in public because of harassing you. Yeah, that's right, you. Do you think Brett Favre is going to text any more pictures of his dick to massage therapists? Yeah, I thinkl he learned his lesson there. You don't need a gossip blog or a lawsuit to confirm that you have won- you just have. You already have. And you'll know that forever. And so will all of us. Women 1: Brett Favre: 0.
In conclusion- leave Brett Favre alone. I know sexual harassment is wrong and so does everybody else. Let Favre hobble back to whence he came and allow him the last little shred of dignity he may have. Allow him to go fall down in a heap of his own feces in some podunk corner of Mississippi as he takes perscription Xanax and watches reruns of the Golden Girls. Allow him that. Because, like I said, justice has been served.
