"Shots" by LMFAO have been harolded by some as the song that defines our time. Just look at the YouTube comment section. That being said, I think it is important that my highly esteemed blog explore the finer points of this song. What does it really mean? Where do the authors come from? How do they weave in use of metaphor in "Shots"? So, without further ado, in part two of our analysis of contemporary music feature, lets look at LMFAO's smash hit.
The theatrical introduction to this video is important. It starts out at a Holiday Inn swimming pool in a suburb of Napals, Florida called Bonita Springs, and everyone is so bored! Boy, are they bored. Putting on sunscreen? That's for poor people! Thankfully, though, Lil Jon is here and so are 500 other people and this is what they all have to say:
"If you're not drunk ladies and gentleman, get ready to get fucked up. Let's do it! Haha!"
I don't know if the Holiday Inn swimming pool is the right venue for this. Wouldn't it be more entertaining if Lil Jon came into your office break room and said this? He pushes over Sid the elderly receptionist and says "If you're not drunk ladies and gentleman, get ready to get fucked up. Let's do it! Haha!" Your boss just looks up from her Indian take-out from the place with the really great lunch special downstairs and stares at him? While four contract developers are standing around the TV watching CNN saying to each other "Oh wow, Elizabeth Taylor is dead, wow, end of an era." and nodding? Wouldn't it be great then if Lil Jon had entreated us to get fucked up? Half of those people in the parking lot of the Motel 6 were totally happy reading Dan Brown and tanning? They don't want to get as fucked up as, say, the guy in your mail room at 9:15 AM on a Monday.
Next, LMFAO come out and say something because they're famous, I guess? Who are these people? These are real people? Next these two
"I'm with the party rock crew,all drinks are free.We like ciroc.We love patron.We came to party rock.Everybody it's on"
Hm. Well. Ok. You're cool, I guess. Cool people get free drinks at clubs. However, this is a song that was written for the express reason of encouraging consumption of alcohol by the masses. When watching the music video you notice that when LMFAO enters so does about 500 people. So, that must mean that the "Party Rock Crew" consists of roughly 500 people. I'm just wondering what kind of business model it is for this drinking establishment to offer up comped drinks for 500 people just because LMFAO says so. I mean it's one thing to give Lindsay Lohan free drinks because it'll be in the tabloids she was at your club the next day, but these guys? These guys? I doubt I will read in TMZ tomorrow: "LMFAO played a 'secret show' at a Bennigans in a Houston, TX strip mall last night! Everybody got free drinks! Also related: Bennigans goes out of business."
"The ladies love us, When we pour shots // They need an excuse, to suck our cocks."
Obviously, yes, this is the case. The only way for any lady to suck Lil Jon's dick is to get so drunk she forgets that Lil Jon submerges his dick in a vat of Syphilis every morning.
"If you ain't getting drunk get the fuck out the club. If you ain't taking shots get the fuck out the club. If you ain't come to party get the fuck out the club. Now where my alcoholics let me see yo hands up."
What kind of person would actually want to stick around in a club when they're not drunk? Have you ever been to a club? It costs money to get in and then when you actually are in, it's impossible to hear anybody and impossible to move around. You have to watch douchebags rub their cock all over everything and everyone. Also, every surface of the club has this unidentified layer of stickiness (probably where DJ Pauly D came in his pants and attempted to clean himself off with a seat cushion). Not to mention, a good night is $10 dollar margarita night. Basically, you should be happy I'm at this fucking club anyway, Lil Jon. Any other host would be gracious, but no, what Lil Jon is saying is that if I don't drink this $10 dollar shot of Patron that I can't stay at the club. First off: You're a dick, Lil Jon. Second off: Do I have to drink shots to stay in the club? Could I, say, drink a nice White Wine Spritzer? Is that allowed at Le Clubbe HPV?
"The women come around every time I'm pouring shots. Their panties hit the ground every time I give ‘em shots. So cups in the air everybody let's take shots."
The inspiration that DJ My Semen Smells Like Roses, Bitch and DJ I Fucked My Cousin Last Weekend And Now I Feel Weird had for coming up with this line is the time their older sisters had a sleepover. They were fourteen and just hit puberty. One of them had scored some GHB and they swore they were going to lose their virginity that night. So, they stood tall and proud and waited until their sister's hot friend Samantha went to the bathroom and they sprinkled something into her Ginger Ale. Two hours later the pair of them stood over her, naked and deciding who went first. They were both so nervous! This was their first time. But at least they were together. They looked up at each other anxiously until one finally whispered to the other "Maybe, we should, like, touch each other's dicks for a little bit?" His friend looked at him, bit his lip and said: "Isn't that gay?" "No! No! No! It's just for practice, y'know. We don't want Samantha to think we're inexperienced." His friend nodded and gulped and pulled his pants down. Okay, this was fine. They touched each other's dicks tenderly and then they kissed, just a little! Just to see how it felt! Turns out it felt great. Samantha was all but forgotten.
"If you feelin' drunk put your hands in the air,and if you tryin' to fuck put your hands in the air."
Oh, LMFAO, you masters of observation. Who would have thought that club-goers want to drink alcohol and have anonymous sex with strangers? Wow! I've never thought of that before. I bet LMFAO contacted some impartial poll-taking group to gather evidence on this. How many patrons of said club are drunk and want to fuck: 92.76% with a 3 point margin of error. (Thanks, Gallop Polls! Once again, you tell me how to think! My panties are so on the ground and my hands are in the air!)
I think it's really important to understand LMFAO, y'know? Not many people understand just how our culture works today. You're welcome.
This post has changed my life.
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