Flavored Vodka. Going Too Far?

I've drank flavored vodka before. Don't get me wrong. When I was seventeen years old and was rejected by any member of the opposite sex I could count on a bottle of Green Apple Smirnoff to listen to my problems, understand and really make me feel better. I remember the days of having Missy's blind mom buy us vodka of all flavors. Green Apple, Strawberry, every flavor under the rainbow. I remember the days of proudly emptying half of that Gatorade bottle to pour in a quart of flavored vodka and then going to Government Class. That happened. It happened to everyone.

However, that was high school. Now, it's not okay. If you're not breaking up with your boyfriend because he's a.) Going to the Army, b.) Dropping out of High School or c.) In Love with your Best Friend then you can get away with it. Any other reason you're going to have to drink regular vodka (or alcohol that isn't vodka, this isn't Russia under Yeltsin, folk). However, nobody seems to understand that fact. Maybe it's the Sex in the City movies with their insufferable flavored cocktails or maybe it's just that people have Peter Pan syndrome and refuse to be a part of this evermoving cog we call society. That being said, I felt it imperative to comment on this flavored vodka fiasco.

As someone who lives in New York and regularly rides the subway I've seen several advertisements for Brooklyn Vodka brought to you by a collaboration between Spike Lee and Absolut. Brooklyn Vodka? Last I heard Brooklyn was a place, not a flavor. What will this vodka taste like? The L Train never working? Hipster Noise Shows? The Hasids in Crown Heights? The sweat and tears of Russian immigrants? I'm not sure I want to taste any of those things. Also, Spike Lee made this possible? Is this just because Spike Lee made Do The Right Thing? Does Spike Lee, sit with an appletini in hand and ask himself "If Brooklyn was a vodka what would it taste like?" Was this a passion project for him? Well, I did the research. Brooklyn Vodka tastes like Red Apple tinged with Ginger and according to Absolut "evokes the spice and vibrancy Brooklyn brings to the Big Apple." and gives a hearty nod to Brooklyn with a stoop painted on the bottle. It got one thing right, people definitely day drink in Brooklyn on stoops. But isn't that OE, not vodka? All I know, in the end, is that congratulations world you have yet another flavor of apple vodka to cry over when you fail that six weeks of Algebra 2.