So, Apparently It's Wrong To Sexually Harass Someone?

I found out today that it's actually wrong to sexually harass someone in the workplace. It's completely fine everywhere else though. NYU is making me take a course on it (DON'T ASK WHY) so I figured since this is invaluable and little known information- I'd give you guys a heads up.

NYU says that harassment laws aren't designed to eliminate all jokes or fun from the workplace. Suzie asks "How do you know if your joke has crossed over into offensive and potentially harassing behavior?
Good question, Suzie! You know your joke has crossed over into offensive and potentially harassing behavior when this woman makes this face:


Things you can't do in offices: Hug Beth. Beth is a huge bitch though, so I don't know why anybody would want to hug her in the first place:

Seriously, Beth, get over yourself. You weren't even invited to the office party anyway- or at least nobody wanted you to go. Remember the last one where you had one too many jello shots and consequently took all your clothes off and started dancing on Phil's desk. That's not sexual harassment and this is? Guess what, Beth? NOBODY WANTS TO FUCK YOU.


As you see here, Paul is reporting his co-worker Jason for calling Eduardo a "stupid Mexican." At least that's what Eduardo says, also later, when Paul was running late for a meeting Jason accused him of being on "Mexican time." To this comment, Eduardo said to Jason "That's funny coming from a money shoveling Jew boy." So in the end, Eduardo and Jason are even.

Now, that you've learned a little about sexual harassment here's a few questions:

The answer is, well this is a trick question. While this is seemingly considered as harassment, there is no indication this isn't scientific fact. Perhaps, if next to this notice on the refrigerator there was a snippet of a scientific journal supporting (or debunking) these assertions then it could be appropriate.



This is a tricky one, obviously Joe has to look at pornography at least three times a day if he wants to avoid serious medical condition called "blue balls." I mean, Beth has offered multiple times to suck Joe off in the break room to avoid this condition (Beth is a registered nurse kicked off her last job for sexual harassment) but Joe and- I'm sure you do too, I do- agree Beth is gross. So, the answer is that Joe is not harming anybody by looking at pornography as long as he's locked in his own office by himself. How can it harm you if you don't know it's happening?

Okay, guys, final exam time!!!!:


I know what I'd do, but I'll leave this one up to you.


Congratulations, now you know what not to do in the workplace. It's probably best if you all quit your jobs and start panhandling on the street, where all of this conduct is allowed!